Going all in with your bonus kids

Going all in with your bonus kids

More about Patricia:

Patricia is the Founder of Podcast Maven. She is a Podcast Coach and Podcast Editor. She helps introvert female business owners find their voice, connect to their audience and and launch their own unique podcast.

She's the host of The Enterprising Expat, a new soon to be released show focused on inspiring and supporting female expats to start their
own business in their new home country.

Connect with her here:



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Patricia Qhobela Jenkins always knew she didn’t want to have kids. She grew up in a strict and traditional household and felt a lot of pressure from her mother to have kids. When she met and married her husband, she got two “bonus” kids in their teens.

Patricia talked about what it was like for her to become a parent to those two kids, and I very selfishly treated this like an opportunity to get advice from someone who’s been where I am now. Honestly, this episode was like therapy for me, talking about what it’s like to develop a relationship with someone else’s kids and how to handle the awkward parts early stages of becoming a family.

I’ll admit that I had a tougher time relating to Patricia going “all in” with her bonus kids. This is something I struggle with and I found it helpful to talk through how I feel about it with someone who’s been there. I’ll be sharing more about my reluctance to go “all in” in an upcoming bonus episode, but this episode with Patricia is the first time I talk about it publicly. I suspect it’s something that a lot of step parents go through, but it doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable.


Discussed in episode 28 with Patricia Jenkins:

  • The less exotic parts of being a nomad and/or ex-pat including racism and familial relationships

  • Patricia’s relationship with her parents and how it shaped her life

  • The expectations that Patricia had about motherhood because of her relationship with her own mom

  • How Patricia crafted her role as a stepmother and where this journey has taken her

  • What discipline looks like as a stepmother

  • How to be “all in” as a stepmother